பாயும் வேகம் ஜெட் லீ தாண்டா
பன்ச் வெச்சா இட்லி தாண்டா
Rated PG - for Pseudo-DK, DMK, Liberals, Marxists....
ஊர்ல சொல்றது சொலவடை
உண்மையைச் சொல்றது இட்லிவடை

Thursday, March 12, 2009

Mahatma Gandhi Going Once..Twice..And SOLD!!!

"Mahatma Gandhi Going Once..Twice..And SOLD!!!" was written by Ramasubramanian Karthikeyan Based on the authors request to publish in Idlyvadai, I am posting it here....

Mahatma Gandhi Going Once..Twice..And SOLD!!!

‘Ladies and gentlemen, the next item on display is Mahatma Gandhi’s Pocket watch, accompanied by his Sandals, bowl, plate and glasses’ announced the auctioneer in the Antiquorum in New York. There were tons of bidders present at the event, with the highlight being on the distillery tycoon Vijay Mallya. He was under a tremendous pressure to place the winning bid and bring the most treasured Gandhi’s belongings back to where it belonged, India.

‘The official starting bid of these items start at $20,000, please place your bids now’ yelled the announcer.

’Forty thousand dollars’ yelled one bidder

‘Ninety thousand’ came the response from another

‘One Million dollars’ shouted an antique collector from Los Angeles

‘1.2 Million’ said another bidder

‘1.2 Million Is the current highest bid, going once, going twice…….’ Stress was mounting on Mallya and it was high time for him to place his bid which would save India’s dignity (?)

‘1.8 Million Dollars’ screamed Mr. Mallya. That’s it! There were no more takers. All the belongings of Gandhi, now officially belonged to Mallya, which means it now belonged to the people of India!

All went well, and Mr. Mallya was ready to finish the final paperwork to close the deal officially. When he was about to make an exit from the Antiquorum, someone came rushing towards him screaming,

‘Mr. Mallya…Mr. Mallya…..you almost forgot this. This comes along with the items that you just won’

Mallya looked at that and was visibly panicking.

‘I never bid for this…and I never will. Who would need this and what could one possibly do with this’ screamed Mallya

‘But sir, we have clearly mentioned this in our fine print. When you look at the terms and conditions of this auction, it reads that the winning bidder of Gandhi’s belongings assumes full responsibility of this item along with the items that he/she won’

Mallya had nobody to blame but himself, for not reading the fine print and he considered himself being tricked into this by the auctioneers.

As this was a high profile auction, he was aware this news will instantly reach millions of people in India, and he knows that when everyone comes to know about ‘this’ they are not going to be very happy. Mallya knows that no one in his home country cares about this additional ‘item’, as the Indian public has long disowned it.

He was panicking. He had to get some support from the Government of India to deal with this situation. The best thing he can do is to call up the leaders of the ruling party and the opposition party to handle this situation. He got the two leaders on the line and started explaining about how he missed the terms and conditions and how he ended up with ‘the additional item’ along with the items that be bid for. He was trying to persuade the leaders of both the parties to accept ‘this’, and was even ready to pay a hefty amount for whichever party that is ready to accept.

The response was unanimous from both the party leaders.

‘Mallya, who do you think we are? We are politicians and this is strictly against our policy to deal with anything like ‘this’. It is true that we wanted to win the other items like his Spectacles, Sandals and the Bowl that belonged to Gandhi….but this? Sorry Mallya…this is election season and we don’t want the public to think that we had anything to do with ‘this’. ‘

Mallya replied ‘It was you both who forced me to do this auction in the first place. You cannot back out just because of ‘this’. If you politicians don’t want ‘this’ and the people of India don’t want ‘this’, who do you think I should take ‘this’ to? I don’t care even if I am losing money, I am going to set up another auction for ‘this’ and hopefully some one would buy it’.

The next morning, a new item had surfaced in the list of ‘items’ for auction.

The title read--

‘On Sale Now. The Principles of Mahatma Gandhi. The official starting bid for ‘this’ item is ONE DOLLAR’!


கிருஷ்ண மூர்த்தி S said...

அட வெவரம் தெரியாத புள்ளையா இருப்பாரு போல இத்த எளுதினவரு.. .. சப்ப மாட்டர், மாமே! சனநாயகம், சன நாயகம்னு ஒவ்வொரு தபா தேர்தல் வருங்காட்டியும் இந்த காந்தியக் கொல்கை, கொல்கைன்றானுகளே, அப்பவே நம்மாளுங்க கொல்கையிலே ஐக்கியமாயிட்டானுங்க. கோட்சே அப்டீன்னு ஒரு ஆள் இருந்தான் தெரியுமா, அவன் காந்திய ஒரேதபா தான் கொன்னான். ஆனா இந்த காந்தி கட்சிக்காரங்க, தேர்தல் வர்ற நேரமெல்லாம், பதவிக்கு அடிச்சிக்கினு கூட்டணி தர்மமா, காந்தியக் கொல்கை ஒண்ணுல தான்பா குறியா இருக்குறாங்க.

இத்தப் போயி, ஒரு மாட்டர்னுட்டு....!

மாயவரத்தான் said...

தமில் வால்க. தமில் வால்க. தமிழிலே எழுதுப்பா நாராயணா


Everbody in the nation is elated over the fact that gandhji's items are going to come back to india.

But little people realize that those items were bought by a man who is the liquor baron of the country.This is the biggest irony in this whole story.Iam happy that vijay maalya has once again done the job of saving the nation's history.

If gandhiji is alive ,I am sure he would be disappointed over the fact that the money indian's spent on buying kingfisher beer and Mc Dowell's whisky helped us to save his treasures.

Moral of the story:

No prohibition please.. else we cant save the nation's history

M Arunachalam said...

If Gandhiji is alive, the question of auctioning those items would not have arisen in the first place as he may still be using them, right?

Prabhu Swaminathan said...

As a citizen of India i surely dont want "this". I feel Gandhi is the architect of trouble India is facing today. Every decision he took has affected and will affect India's growth for next few decades. He is the root cause of psuedo-secularism, look at US even there they had same kind of racial problem but now they live a united society but look at India we are still separated by caste, religion etc and are still being separated, thanks to reservation and our politicians!

Vijay said...

If US lives in harmony now its because they follow some of the gandhian principles atleast. They dont have hatred for others based on race.

Gandhi in fact preached these ideals to learn to live in harmony. What on earth makes you think that US is better than india just because there was no Gandhi in US? You are contradicting yourself. The problem is Indians wont understand humanity is bugger than religion. Americans understood this. Gandhi preached this. Indians dont even try to understand this. Instead they can make shallow comments that the present situation is due to Gandhi.